Saturday, May 31, 2014

Gotta Have Faith

The last seven months have been rocky at times.  My faith has been tested and wavered at times.  I know that I should pray more.  Sometimes I just get so wrapped up in what is happening that I just forget, then later I think that it would of been best to pray at that time.  We have dealt with health issues, accidents, school issues, and medical bills.  As soon as something appears to slow down, wham!  We get hit again.  Sometimes I am at a loss for words and just do not know what to pray.  I need to get back to the basics, but life is so overwhelming at times that I seem to get blinded.  God has a reason for everything.  What we see is the underside of the tapestry of life, but when it is finished and turned over a beautiful picture emerges.  So I gotta faith that all is as it should be and that God is in control. 

At the current time I am the one having health issues.  I will be the first one to tell you that I do not like to take medicine.  I will take it if it is needed.  Unlike my mom, I will go to the doctor if things are not right.  I've been puny for two weeks now.  I basically got three diagnoses within eight days- of course each one seems to trump the next.  For the last diagnosis, I will be seeing a specialist this coming week.  I hope that it does not led to any more diagnoses.  I am pretty sure that I will most likely have to have surgery.  I am a bit apprehensive, but it will be whatever it will be.  I know that God is with me every step of the way, even though at times it does not seem so to me.  I am finding that I do not like the "hurry up and do this", then "oh, we need to wait" mentality of the medical field.   I am also discovering that I have to be my own advocate, trying to make sure that the upcoming appointment has all of the information they need from my primary doctor's office.

I have that "You have two choices either laugh or cry" attitude.  I have had a few tears, but mainly laughter.  So when someone backed into my parked car on Thursday morning with a SUV.  I just started laughing hysterically.  I know that it was a complete accident and the other person felt horrible about it.  But in light of everything else going on, it seems small peas.   

Music calms me when I feel lost and overwhelmed.  This morning "We Believe" by Newsboys was on the radio and it was calming balm.  "We believe in God the Father!  We believe in Jesus Christ!  We believe in the Holy Spirit!  And He's given us new life!  We believe in the crucification!  We believe that He conquered death!  We believe in the resurrection!  And He's coming back again!"  Another song that I have been listening to is "Worn" by Tenth Avenue North.  "I'm Tired.  I'm worn.  My heart is heavy.  From the work it takes.  To keep on breathing.  I've made mistakes.  I've let my hope fail.  My soul feels crushed.  By the weight of this world.  And I know that You can give me rest.  So I cry out with all that I have left.  Let me see redemption win.  Let me know the struggle ends."

To err is human and we are all human.  No person is without sin and in my opinion it takes a strong person to admit their failings.  So I trudge on and hopefully become stronger in faith as the days go on.  I appreciate the friends and family that are praying for me.  Hopefully in the next few weeks things will slow down and I will return to my normal self.  I know that I have fallen behind writing on this little old blog, but I have honestly not known what to say or what I should I write.  Life has definitely been overwhelming and I have not wanted to spend all of my blog time complaining.  I would prefer to highlight joys and fun and nature.  Until next time. . . . I bid you adieu.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Ode to Hubby

I love my hubby!  Even though I have been sick for the past six days, he has been remarkable helpful.
 

Here are some of the little things that have made me smile:
- He took a few hours off work Saturday to take me to the doctor.
- He braved the zoo by himself with the kids.
- He gave the kids ice cream for dinner one night.
- He grilled me a hamburger. 
- He is a wonderful daddy!
- He took Princess to her six month eye doctor appointment.
- He went with me to Pumpkin's special education meeting.
- He made me rye toast.
- He brought home pizza, then put away the leftovers, and did the dishes.

How did I get so lucky??