Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Task Initiation & Working Memory

I pondered over the ten spokes of executive functioning from the last post and decided to start with the chapters focusing on task initiation and working memory. Children learn at different speeds and have different strengthens and weaknesses. Princess is my procrastinator, sometimes getting her to move to another task is like herding cats. Pumpkin is stronger in this area. Working memory is the reason that I started looking into executive functioning. Pumpkin struggles with some aspects of his academic work in regards to his short-term memory. It has to be frustrating for him, so I really want to find a way to help him with his memory retention. He is a bright young man; we just need to figure out the key to unlocking the information that goes in his brain but gets trapped trying to get out. Princess is stronger in this area.

 



As stated in the last post task initiation is the ability to stop what you are doing and switch gears to another activity. When we procrastinate we resist starting a new activity. The more immature we are the more we want to procrastinate. For children playing is more rewarding that taking a bath or doing school work. The author of The Everything Parent’s Guide to Children with Executive Functioning Disorder breaks this chapter into three age groups: the young child, the elementary child, and the adolescent child. For the young child, we can start teaching how to move to a new task by using “first, then” and “before, after” statements. First we put on our pants, then we put on our shirt. It is helpful to give a countdown before moving to another activity, like we are going to take a bath in 5 minutes. With my monkeys, I find it useful to say “When the numbers on the clock say 7:45, it is time to take a bath.” Pumpkin has a harder time understanding the length of 5 minutes, but a clock is a concrete tool that he can check to see how much time might be left. Take time to praise them for their successes both large and small.



The author introduces the Premack Principle for the elementary child. It builds on the “first, then” concept using the undesirable task first, followed by a desirable task. First we finish our homework, then we play on the iPad. Children may be resistant at first, but if you make a consistent routine of expectations it becomes easier over time. If you have multiple tasks to complete, offer the child the option of what order to do their work in to allow them some control over the situation. Start teaching the child simple goal setting techniques. If a book has to be read over the weekend for an assignment instead of waiting until Sunday night, read a few chunks at a time. Read a chunk on Friday night, read another chuck or two on Saturday, then finish the book on Sunday. To help with task initiation have a set homework routine. Designate a specific location free of technology and schedule a specific time. We actually did this at the beginning of the school year. I created a homework tub with all the supplies needed and it sits in the middle of the homework table. We have a snack when we walk in the door, then we start working on our homework. We are more lenient on Friday night, and break the homework load up over the weekend.  I’m going to skip commenting about the adolescent child since we are not quite there yet. One highlight in that section is ensuring that your child gets enough sleep. Sleep is critical to managing a lot of the spokes of executive functioning.


 


Working memory is the ability to hold information in your mind long enough to do something with it, also known as short-term memory. This is a biggie when it comes to academic success. Working memory is needed in following directions, taking class notes, reading comprehension, and multiple step math problems. Working memory can be broken into two groups auditory (verbal- assists in comprehension of complex directions) and visual-spatial (sight- assists in comprehension of what things should look like). Repetition is very helpful in learning to harness working memory. Ask your child repeat back the directions that they were given to ensure that they heard all of the steps. The author recommends the exercise of assigning the child three items to remember on the grocery list and have them assist you at the grocery store finding the items. Another tip is to encourage your child to write down appointments and assignments. The physical act of write information down helps with memory retention.



Seven tips are suggested for strengthening working memory. 1) Priming- Give a heads up before starting a task. “We have three chores to do before we can play outside. One we need to pick up our Legos. Two we need to pick up the pillows. Three we need to vacuum the floor. When we are done we can go outside.” 2) Rehearsal- repeat what you were told. That is kind of what I am doing with the blog postings for this book. I do a better job remembering when I write down what I learned. I usually take written notes, then type up the notes to help reinforce the information. 3) Clustering- chunk information into groups to assist in memory retention. The author suggestions memory games like- Simon, Memory, Concentration, Bop It! We did get Simon for the kids and they both seem to enjoy it. We will have to see if it makes any difference over time. 4) Mnemonics and Associations- create an acronym, poem, or song to remember what you learned. I remember learning ROY G. BIV growing up to remember the colors of the rainbow (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet). For the planets we said “My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas” (Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, and Pluto). 5) Visualizing- using multiple avenues to process information (hearing, seeing, writing, demonstrating, etc…).  The author recommends the website PBS Learning Media.  I checked it out. We may need to add it to our study arsenal. 6) Build Recall, Not Recognition- fine tuning the studying process. Flash cards are a great way to promote recall. I think that I was the index card queen in college. I had index cards everywhere, and I color coded my class notes with different colored markers. Flash cards were the key to remembering all of botanical information in the 30+ botany classes that I took. I also used a dry erase board to practice my information. We use dry erase boards with the kiddos for spelling and working out math problems. The online program Quizlet is great. We use it for Pumpkin’s memory verses, but I see a lot of promise for the future. 7) Elaborations- linking new information to information that is already known. An example:  When you see a dead tree on the ground in a forest how would you explain the purpose of leaving it where it is? The dead tree can be a hotel for bugs to live inside, but it can also be a restaurant for birds to come and feast on the bugs. The bugs, moss, and mushrooms live on and inside the dead tree. Eventually the wood will become spongy and the dead tree will turn into dirt for other another tree to grow. Understood.com also has some tips for working memory strategies.



This book is fascinating. I believe that there is something for everyone in this book. We are all human and none of us is perfect. I am thankful to learn a few tips that might help my kiddos. I am also thankful for the reminders of the learning styles that I have used forever and taken for granted. I have a feeling that it is going to take me a while to whittle through this book so I bought a used copy online. Hooray! My library book is due in a few days, so I will take a reading hiatus until my “new” book arrives.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Executive What?


 

As parents, we tend to have the best interest of our children at heart. We want our children to soar and experience the ups and downs of life. All children have strengths and weaknesses, joys and failures. Like all children Pumpkin has challenges to overcome, but sometimes discovering the key to that success can be like finding a needle in a haystack. I’ve read that children with ADHD and children on the spectrum can experience hiccups with executive functioning. I went to Pinterest and Understood.org to check it out. Maybe learning more about executive functioning would be beneficial to my family as we struggle with academic and social hurtles. I interlibrary loaned the book The Everything Parent’s Guide to Children with Executive Functioning Disorder by Rebecca Branstetter, PhD. (Please note: No one in our family has been diagnosed with executive functioning disorder, but I find that it is beneficial to expanding my knowledge as a parent. Building my tool arsenal helps me to help my children the best way possible.)

So, what is executive functioning? Executive functioning allows us to process our thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly. When there is an issue with executive functioning we may experience working memory problems, lack organization, lose focus, may resist change, be impulsive, manage time unwisely, lack flexibility, lose emotional self-control, or move from task to task without completion. All in all, executive functioning is important to our everyday lives. Everyone struggles with some aspect of executive functioning; for some it may be a minute hurtle, to others a gasping chasm. The good news is that we can teach ourselves to successful overcome our own individual hurtles. Executive functioning is a work in progress, the older you are the easier it is the harness your abilities. As parents we need to analysis our own executive functioning strengths and weaknesses, so we can better help our children.

Using our imagination is a good way to explain these type of complex ideas to children. Our brain is what controls our thoughts and processes. Imagine a tiny little person inside our brain, like the characters in the movie Inside Out. That tiny little person helps us to control our actions, as the author calls it “boss in your brain.” We can talk about the boss to help children understand new concepts without making them feel like they are inadequate or lacking in anyway. Another way is to link the information to something that the child knows and is familiar with. Example: “Oh no. The train is stuck on the tracks. What can we do to fix this math problem and help the train reach the station?”

The author suggests teaching executive functioning skills through modeling, repetition, and consistency. A) Monkey see, monkey do! Be a good example to your children, they will watch you and model both the right and wrong. Model the behavior you would like to see in them. If your children are losing things, help them find a “home” for each item and place it there every time. Praise them as they are learning the new routine. B) Try, try again! Don’t give up. Keep trying the activity, and eventually we will be successful. If a child is having problems with a task, help to break it into visual steps. Example: “Time to brush our teeth. Remember we talked about using toothpaste and brushing in circles around our whole mouth. Don’t forget to brush near our gums to chase all of the cavity germs away so our teeth stay healthy.” C) The wheels on the bus go round and round! Consistency is the key. Keep to your routine, if it isn’t working sit down with your child and create a routine that will work. Keep the directions short and sweet, but with a predictable sequence. Example: Bed time routine- take a bath, put on pajamas, brush your teeth, read a book with mom or dad, and go to sleep.

The term executive functioning is like a bicycle wheel that is made up of ten main spokes. Spoke 1: Task Initiation- the ability to stop what you are doing and switch gears to another activity. Spoke 2: Response Inhibition- the ability to keep oneself from acting impulsively, basically delayed gratification. Spoke 3: Focus- the ability to keep your attention on the task at hand. Spoke 4: Time Management- the ability to complete tasks within a set amount of time. Spoke 5: Working Memory- the ability to hold information in your mind long enough to do something with it. Spoke 6: Flexibility- the ability to change your plans based upon the ever changing environment around you. Spoke 7: Self Regulation- the ability to reflect on your goals and make necessary changes to achieve them. Spoke 8: Emotional Self Control- the ability to manage your emotions and reflect on your feelings without acting impulsively. Spoke 9: Task Completion- the ability to harness your energy and attention to see a task to its end. Spoke 10: Organization- the ability to keep track of items and maintaining order in your personal space.

Oh my, it looks like we need to work on a large majority of these. I think that my biggest hiccup right now is organization- but since I have two pint-sized tornadoes in the house it is no surprise. I will have to dive into all ten spokes in regards to the kids, but as they mature each spoke will get easier. It might be better to group these into smaller posts as I work my way through the book, so look for more post to come. I am impressed with this book so far and the author has made the book very user friendly. I think that it would be an asset to have in our home library as a reference and guide.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Win Some, Lose Some

I have not accomplished as much as I had intended for the month of January. 

I have done the best with my "House Goal." My goal was to cleaning and organize the south end of the great room. It was more challenging that I had anticipated and the southeast side got the most attention.  There was stuff on the desk dating back to 2013. In a few of the boxes, I found stuff from 2010 when the world seemed to crash around me. As I was going through stuff- filing, shredding, recycling, and saving- I realized why I never finished each time I started. It was hard, really hard at times. I did find some good memories, but I also found some stuff that I would have preferred hidden. The itemized bill from mom's funeral, the memorial print-out from grandpa and mom's funerals, the bill from mom and grandpa's gravestones (purchased on the same day), the booklet from grandpa's funeral, and more sympathy cards that apparently were not with the ones that I stumbled upon back in November. Even 5-1/2 years later it still is hard to process at times. 

Southeast corner- January 31
Southeast corner- January 1

My "Health Goals" basically crashed and burned, but it is not too surprising since I am still rocking the walking boot. I messed the tendons up eight weeks ago today. The boot and I have been friends for the last seven weeks. I have no idea when I might graduate. I check back with the doctor on Friday, if it still is not any better they will schedule an MRI to check for torn tendons. So needless to say, I have not met my five pound goal and I have not had the chance to strengthen or stretch my injured ankle.


My "Family Goal" has been come and go- reading more. I have done quite a bit of reading on the Kindle, but nothing notable enough to really mention. Princess and I read Piper Green and The Fairy Tree. It was a really cute story! We are looking forward to reading the second one. Pumpkin has been burying himself in Minecraft books lately.

The last goal was "Self Goal"- having a girls day adventure. Once again the boot and weather deterred me. We have had some snow, which makes it very difficult to walk with the darn boot (especially when you cannot see what is beneath the snow). The boot has made me more of a home body than normal. 

Well, I will need to mull over my February goals for a bit. Have you accomplished any goals that you set for the new year?



Saturday, January 10, 2015

Project Time

I cannot believe that we are already ten days into the new year. Time sure does seem to fly around here.

The kids started back to school on Monday. Pumpkin's class is starting to learn cursive handwriting. Princess's class is doing more challenging read activities. Both of their report cards came home yesterday. We need to work on handwriting with both children. Princess needs to work on count to 100 by 5s and Pumpkin needs to work on his spelling skills.

I have been doing good on some of my January goals and falling a bit behind on other. Ha ha! Good thing goals can be changed and modified as needed.

We had a glitch with our kitchen plumbing starting on New Year's Day. I did take a laundry basket full of dishes to grandma's house last weekend. We hand washed the dirty dishes and had a nice conversation. Hubby attempted to clean out the p trap last weekend to no avail, so we called a plumber. The plumber replaced some pipes and attempted to clean out the line to no avail, so we called the sewer service. The sewer service got the issue resolved on Wednesday. Thank goodness! It is sort of hard to cook when you cannot use your sink. It is also kind of hard to work on eating more healthy if you have to grab a few meals out.  But, I have managed to lose two and a half pounds. 

My greatest accomplishment so far has been the southwest quadrant of the great room. I used Christmas money to purchase a small cube unit to help organize the room better. It is so cute!  Below are before and after pictures. My next project is the northwest quadrant, it will probably be more time consuming since Hubby has to help me with some parts of it. That is the same area that I would like to set up the reading nook in.



We did test out the proposed reading nook area today. We have a green swivel rocking chair that I had moved from the southwest quadrant. Right now it is temporarily in front of the mantel.  Both kids brought home flyers from school this week that they were excited about. It is a reading challenge of 360 minutes by February 23 to earn tickets to a fun amusement park. I figure that if we read 30 minutes every Saturday and Sunday, we will met the challenge in time. Princess and I worked together and read Blue Hat, Green Hat and Put me in the Zoo for 30 minutes. Pumpkin read me the first 4 chapters of Roscoe Riley Rules #1: Never Glue Your Friends to Chairs for 30 minutes.

Well off to conquer the northwest quadrant! What are your plans this weekend?

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Run For It

I meet myself coming and going quite a bit. I get myself turned around. I find myself upside down. Quite often I am overwhelmed. Life will get easier, right?

My sister got the front door painted lightening bug yellow a few weeks ago. She gave me a new wreath for my birthday, too. Isn't the combination pretty?


The kids have been playing in the leaves this weekend. Princess even sorted the leaves by color.





Last weekend, I carved the family's pumpkin. Somehow a deer bone is now sticking out from its mouth.


I won a free book a few weeks ago. It arrived last weekend: The Stress Cure: Praying Your Way to Personal Peace by Linda Evans Shepherd. Thank you Baker Publishing and Proverbs31. The book is fascinating and a down-to-earth. It centers on managing stress through prayer and scripture. I have only made it through three chapters so far, but I do enjoy the fact that information is related in easy to understand examples. Chapter Two was about being overwhelmed. That me, OVERWHELMED!

I have been taking some nature photography.

 


I have wrangled with the health insurance company about Pumpkin's specialist. Turns out that I was right and she is in-network. So the insurance company has five visits over the last year to correct. A sixty dollar co-pay is a big difference when it is a two hundred dollar (3) or five hundred dollar (2) per visit bill.

I had the opportunity to attend an ADHD & Special Needs training last week. I have gleaned some information that I can use with Pumpkin. I need to find the time to really sit down and read over all of the handouts. The speaker was very nice, informative, and engaging.

A few weeks ago we took Princess to a neuro-opthomologist in a neighboring town. We were sent by our eye doctor for a second opinion. Good news! Her eyes are healthy and there are no underlying causes for her atypically vision problems. Her glasses are within the acceptable range for what she needs right now. We were referred back to our eye doctor for a 6-month January check-up.



Pumpkin went grocery shopping with me this afternoon. He decided to ride in the cart. Then he strategically stacked and built structures with the groceries as they went into the cart. Gotta love the quirks of autism at times.


I hope that everyone has a great weekend! Don't forget Spotlight Sunday is tomorrow!

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Spring is Around the Corner

We have been keeping ourselves busy lately.

Blessings
- Pumpkin's class had achievement testing last week, so as a result an entire week of NO homework.  Yay!!!!!
- We have spent quality time with family and friends.
- I received an amazing and uplifting letter this week.
- We splurged and went out to eat at a nearby restaurant and were surprised that it was a kids eat free night. 
- The days are getting warmer!

Projects
- Hubby put the kids' birthday presents from grandpa together this past week.
- I cleaned the homework table off this week and have been trying to keep it clear.
- I would like to try to tackle and organize the great room during the month of April.

Wildlife
- We have seen sholvers, mallard ducks, great blue heron, kingfisher, grey fox, white tailed deer, cardinals, dark eyed juncos, Canada geese, raccoon, and green sunfish in the yard this week.
- Pumpkin and Princess encountered a crawdad (crayfish) in the creek today.  Unfortunately it gave them quite a fright and they had to be rescued by Daddy.
-  Out and about, I have seen green winged teal, turkeys, red bellied woodpecker, cooper's hawk, red eared slider, turkey vulture, sea gulls, and so much more.

Reading
- Pumpkin has been enjoying listening to Roscoe Riley Rules: Don't Swap Your Sweater for a Dog by Katherine Applegate.
- Hubby just finished reading Watchers at the Pond by Franklin Russell.
- I have been reading Unmending The Veil by Lisa Heaton on the Kindle.  I just started reading The Get Yourself Organized Project by Kathi Lipp yesterday. 
- Princess has been listening to a variety of books too.

Cooking
- The brussel sprouts were yummy!  

Garlic Parmesan Brussel Sprouts


Ingredients
fresh brussel sprouts
sea salt
cracked pepper
garlic salt
2 tablespoons light olive oil
fresh parmesan

Instructions
Heat oven to 400 degrees.  Wash and quarter brussel sprouts.  Toss with olive oil and spread on baking sheet.  Season with sea salt, cracked pepper, and garlic salt to taste.  Bake for 15-18 minutes.  Add parmesan and bake for additional 2 minutes.

- Tonight we tried garlic butter asparagus.  Yum again!  Can you tell that we like garlic?!?

Garlic Butter Asparagus


Ingredients
1 bunch asparagus
4 garlic cloves
1/2 stick butter

Instructions
Dice garlic cloves and cube butter add to a skillet on medium high heat.  Add cleaned asparagus spears (I removed the bottom 1/2 inch of the stalk) to the skillet once the butter is melted.  Saute for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

I Think We Can! I Think We Can!

We have been experimenting with Pumpkin and how to motivate him in regards to education. 

Poker Chip Incentive
The grounding concept of this idea came from our childhood development pediatrician.  She had used a similar idea on her ADHD son when he was in junior high and high school.  We modified it for our first grader. 


Idea:  Use poker chips as an incentive to award appropriate behavior. 

Our Goal: To teach Pumpkin to concentrate and focus while working on school work.  A subgoal is to teach Pumpkin the value of money.

What we did:  I got a bag of old poker chips from my grandma's house and gave them a bath in the sink.  I used a permanent marker and wrote "A" on 10 blue chips, "B" on 10 red chips, and "V" on 10 white chips and placed them into a baggie.  Then I made an awards chart listing how many chips are required to earn each incentive.  We told Pumpkin that every time he brings a paper home with the grade of A, B, or V (very good) he will earn a chip.  Once he earns enough chips he can trade the chips in (like money) to collect incentives.  We found a plastic jar with a lid to deposit his chips into like a bank.


Results:  He has brought home papers with higher grades.  He has finished more in-class assignments in whole instead of leaving blank answers when he forgot or got distracted.  The purpose of this is to not make him feel like he needs to get only A's or B's.  It is to make him realize that he knows the answers and can do well on his assignments if he takes the time to focus and concentrate at the task at hand.  It is perfectly fine with me if he brings a C home, I just do not want to see the D's or F's when I know that he has the answers floating around inside his head.  So far he earn his way to see the Lego Movie and trade 7 chips to earn dinner out at the restaurant that Auntie works.  I think that he wants to work on earning the Hot Wheel Mega Loop Mayhem Track next. 

Reading Rescue 1-2-3
Pumpkin continues to have issues with reading.  We have yet to fully recover from a non-family adult telling him that she would use reading as a punishment for inappropriate behavior this past summer.  I have consulted with our friendly children department librarians for help.  The head children's librarian suggested Reading Rescue 1-2-3 by Peggy Wilber.  I have found the book useful.  I have used the test to assess Pumpkin's reading level.  He is on level 1c according to their book.  The areas that we need to work on currently are reading short passages with accuracy and rhyming.  When testing him he would say an associated word instead of rhyming word.  For example when I say "bear", he would say "polar bear" instead of something like "hair". Or "red" would end up with a made up word such as "smed".  This book gives a lot of easy to use ideas and is not hard to understand for phonic challenged parents.  


The librarians also suggested that we read books to Pumpkin that he likes.  Since he likes listening to the Junie B. Jones series, they recommended the Roscoe Riley Rules series.  Pumpkin is really enjoying listening this particular series since it has a boy for the main character.  They also suggested non-fiction books about things that Pumpkin enjoys.  Today we checked out books about sharks, snakes, butterflies, and camouflage.

Educational Games
We have been trying a variety of games to help entice Pumpkin to practice and learn words.  

POP for Rhyming

 
Oh my!  Such an amazing and fun game, both Pumpkin and Princess enjoy playing this.  It has picture bubbles and a spinner.  You spin to see how many bubbles to pull out of the container.  For each bubble you say the name of the image then say a word that rhymes.  If you rhyme correctly you keep the bubble, if the word does not rhyme the bubble goes into a discard pile.  If you get a POP bubble all of your bubbles goes back into the container.  The player with 10 bubbles wins. 

POP for Sight Words
 

We also enjoy this game.  Pumpkin gets about 80% of the words correct.  This will be a great game to continue helping him to become more fluent with reading.  It is similar to the POP for Rhyming except the cards look like popcorn and you play until the container is empty.  Pumpkin was enjoying it so much that he had his Hot Wheels playing too, so he would say their cards for them.  I looked up the company's website and there is a POP for Sight Words 2.  I will have to look into purchasing that version in the future. 

Spelling Word Matching Game

Pumpkin's teacher suggested that we turn Pumpkin's spelling words into a matching game to make the learning process fun.  Every Sunday I make up a batch of matching cards for Pumpkin to practice at great grandma's house before and after school.  I make the cards out of index cards that have been cut in half.  Pumpkin plays traditional matching with them, but has came up with a new game on his own.  He has great grandma hide one set of the cards in a different room.  He takes his matching set and looks for the cards.  When he find a matching pair, he says the word and then spells the word.  Each evening at home we work on write each spelling word twice and our spelling sentence twice.

So we are trudging along and exploring what works to help Pumpkin.  Princess should be a wiz at reading before we know it since she gets roped into playing our games to help Pumpkin.  If anyone has any ideas to try on Pumpkin, we are all ears!

The last few posts have mentioned sickness.  After about two months we are almost sickness free.  Pumpkin got his pneumonia shot earlier this week.  Princess has a bit of a runny nose.  My voice has returned and I am not coughing too much now.  Of course after all this time it would be silly to believe that I would reach 100% so soon, so as fate would have it, I sprained my ankle on Thursday.  Go figure!  At least I got a nifty new ankle brace through my workplace.

One of these days I will get back to attempting to loose a few pounds.  Maybe I can tempt hubby to join in too.  I need to get myself to my quirky normal before I can attempt to even go on a leisurely walk, take a hike, or play with the kids in the yard.  I guess that I could at least start with eating more fruits and vegetables (wink, wink).  Oh and you will never guess what happened!  My sister roasted brussel sprouts the other evening, yuck!  But I tried them anyway and liked them.  So I bought fresh brussel sprouts at the store today and will try my hand at creating my sister's recipe.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Ups And Downs


Pumpkin has been bumping along on the pathway of education.  He definitely has his ups and downs in the past few years.  He is our Pumpkin.  He is just himself, nothing more and nothing less.  He is a loving child.  He can be a helpful child.  He loves to play with his sister.  He loves to invent and tinker.  He loves sharks and penguins.  He enjoys Piggie and Elephant books.  And he has ADHD (attention deficient hyperactivity disorder difference).  

He was diagnosed at the end of November.  He is not defective, he just learns and acts a bit differently than his peers.  He is an active child that does have trouble focusing and can be impulsive.  He is an active child that would much rather be outdoors than inside (what child really wants to be stuck indoors anyway).  He is an active child that has so much energy that he just cannot contain it, kind of like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh.  ADHD has such a negative stigma at times.  But he is a child.  He is not suppose to be mature all the time.  He is not suppose to know all the answers.  He is just different.  He is just Pumpkin.

This year we have learned how to establish eye contact.  We have learned that repeating simple rules creates ownership and better adherence to actually following the rules.  We have learned that we cannot defect from our daily peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich for lunch.  Yikes!  We have learned that it helps to take breaks during homework time.  We have learned about online games that help with learning spelling and math.  We have learned that sometimes parents need a time out.

Pumpkin also has the social skills of a rock.  Last year we had to ask the teacher send home pictures with the kids names, so he could learn his classmates names.  He still cannot tell us the names of his "new" classmates in his class this year.  He does not ask social questions of others, just talks about himself and his interests.  If someone says hi to him it is like he has blinders on and he just keeps going.  He shies away from shaking hands at church.  He laughs at things that may not necessarily be funny.  If he drops a glass of water on the floor at home, he will shriek like a banshee until someone comes to see what has happened. 

We had a second appointment Monday and he is border line high functioning autism (HFA).  He met most of but not all of the criteria on the parent survey.  He also had a 18 point difference between his verbal (108) and analytic (126) IQ values.  The childhood development pediatrician that we saw is going to consult with colleagues to figure out what our next steps will be. There is a very good chance that we will need to travel to a larger city in the area to partake in an autism panel to determine if he does indeed have HFA. 

We met with Pumpkin's principal and teacher today.  Even though he attends a parochial school, it is encouraging to know that they have had students in the past that have been successful academically with similar diagnoses.  They are receptive to helping us and Pumpkin succeed.  We are looking into methods and ideas since he is more designed for visual learning instead of verbal learning.  As suggested by the specialist, we are looking into obtaining an educational evaluation through our local "home" school.  I am sure that it will be an uphill battle since we have not gone the traditional route through the local school system.  I have tried a first mode of contact and if I do not hear anything within a week, I will try my next method of contact.

I have been read the book Easy to Love but Hard to Raise by Marner and Bashista.  It has been very fascinating.  Unfortunately, I will not get a chance to finish reading it before it has to be returned to the library on Friday.  I will either have to order it through interlibrary loan again or purchase the book for reference at home.  From what I have read so far, I think everyone should read this book to obtain a better understanding of what it is like to have a child that is considered different and to add a bit of humor and insight to enrich our own lives.

We have a long road ahead of us.  Rome was not built in a day.  So we will take one day at a time.  Some days I wish mom was still here.  I have questions that I would love to ask her.  At least we are starting to grow our own network of knowledgeable, kind, and supportive people.  And for me talking about things helps.  It helps me to process information, it helps me to de-stress, it helps me to heal.  So from time to time Pumpkins ups and down will probably appear on this little old blog.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Positive Discipline


I finally finished reading the book Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen, Ed.D. over the weekend.  It took me a few months not because it was not a good book, but because I kept get distracted by life and other fictional books that were waiting in the wings for me to read.  I read a chapter at a time and tried to digest the information.  I will let the information settle for a bit, then I plan to re-read the book to catch things that I missed before.  I definitely recommend reading this book to my friends and family. 

I am hoping to get hubby to read the book soon.  I may have to do a reading trade.  Hubby has been wanting me to read Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey for quite a while, so that may have to be our trade.

So what is Positive Discipline?  It is the concept of using encouragement to create positive behavior in children.  “The primary goal of Positive Discipline is to enable both adults and children to experience more joy, harmony, cooperation, shared responsibility, mutual respect, and love in their life and relationships (p. 289).”  It is an interest concept that I am working on meddling into our family’s daily dynamics.  This book provides basic concepts that are like a tool box.  You can mix and match tools until you find something that works to accomplish the task at hand.

The book helped me to discover the niches that my children play in both birth order and personalities.  Thereby, helped me to determine how those characteristics can be used to help create a more positive environment for them to feel like they belong.  This book also focused on adults and how their personalities play into parenthood with strengths and weaknesses.  Suggestions for areas for adults to work on to improve the parent child relationship are also given.  A family is a TEAM effort and there is no I in team, so all members of the family need to work together to create a loving and encouraging environment.

One concept that I have been using for a few months are curiosity questions.  Curiosity questions are used to help the child explore the consequences of their choices without a lecture from an adult.  This concept helps the child to focus on solutions rather than punishment for a problem.  It helps them to take ownership of the problem or the set routine.  For example: “Princess, we need to go to the car.  What do we need to do before we go to the car?”  “Put shoes on.”  Then like magic the shoes go on instead of constant arguing and delaying tactics.  Or “Pumpkin, how would you feel if someone called you a name?  How do you think Princess feels?  What could we do different next time?”

We tried our first family meeting last night.  Pumpkin and Princess seemed pretty receptive to the idea once we got started.  We talked about what a weekly family meeting is: agenda (a list of issues that family members feel need to be addressed and solved by the family as a team), compliments (everyone needs to come with a compliment about each person at the meeting), problem solving (working as a team to help find solutions to problems on the agenda), planning a fun family activity for the future (family outing or movie night), and ending with a fun activity (like a game).  We ended the meeting by creating an evening picture routine chart for both Pumpkin and Princess.  Pumpkin’s chart is: play time, dinner time, clean up, homework, brush teeth, bath, pick out clothes for tomorrow, story time, then bed time.  Princess’s chart is: play time, dinner time, clean up, pick out clothes for tomorrow, brush teeth, bath, story time, and then bed time.  Next week we will create morning routine charts.


I do have to say that homework time seemed to go more smoothly tonight, only 45 minutes instead of 2 hours.  Pumpkin has math, spelling/phonics, reading, and memory work every evening.  First grade is quite a change from kindergarten.  Princess walked up to me this morning and told me that she wanted me to put “Pumpkin is bothering me all the time and hurting me.  Can you help me fix the problem?” on the agenda list to talk about at the next weekly meeting.  Quite cute!  I hope this helps with a few of the issues we have been having lately.  Pumpkin and Princess both love each other, but they are the typical brother and sister at times with the teasing and horseplay. 

I will slowly work on integrating concepts into our family dynamics.  We will be learning as a family, one concept at a time.  Rome was not built in a day, and family dynamics do not change in a day.  So slow and steady, we will work on encouraging our children to be the best individual that they can be. 

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Vacation Days

This week has flown by and I only have one day left before returning to work.  Honestly, it would be nice to stay home with the kiddos.  I will miss morning time leisurely snuggles.  I will miss taking Pumpkin to and from school.  The kids have seem to have less behavior issues since they have spent time home with me.  Although, Princess has apparently started the tantrum stage.  She was crying and sulking in our bedroom earlier because Pumpkin was mopping the kitchen floor, not her.  But Pumpkin was mopping the kitchen floor because he had decided to make apple juice on the kitchen floor.  He gathered a large bowl, about six apples and the potato smasher for his unsupervised experiment.  It was not too successful and the floor was quite sticky. So we had to clean the floor. 

Anyway, during this vacation we checked quite a few things off our to-do-list: 

We took a drive north of our town, down an old rocky road to watch part of the meteor shower Sunday evening.  Since we were in the middle of no where, we were standing in the middle of the road watching the sky.  We saw the Milky Way (which we cannot see from out house), the Big Dipper, Cassiopeia, the crescent moon, and a handful of shooting stars.  We let the kids lay on the hood of the car to watch the stars.  As we saw headlights in the distance, we scrambled into our car to be better protected.  A very old, old car drove by (maybe something from the 1920s or 1930s), then "Aaauuugah! Aaauuugah!"  Hubby and I burst into laughter!  Then the little car chugged off over a hill and we continued star gazing for a while longer.

On Monday the kids and I visited the children's museum.  The kids had a lot of fun.  




On Tuesday we went to the state fair.  Boy was it expensive.  A bottle of water was $3.00, that is absurd.  We did get to partake in some fair favorites: elephant ear, funnel cake, and lemon shake-up.  Yum!  Both kids got to milk a cow and we saw the Butter Cow.




On Wednesday, Pumpkin started the first grade.  We met his teacher on Monday.  Pumpkin and I went over the class expectations at least once a day every day this week since the meeting.  For example, one expectation is to be respectful of the teacher.  So I asked Pumpkin how he could be respectful and he said listen.  He was so nervous on Tuesday night that we prayed for him and his teacher and that has seemed to help.  So much so that he asked for the same thing the next night.  What a sweetie!   Anyway, I was so happy that first half day when he came out of the school to be picked up that he was not the child holding the teacher's hand.  Yay!  Oh, Wednesday afternoon and night we cleaned Pumpkin's room.  It is a miracle, I can see the floor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



On Thursday, Princess and I ran a few errands and she got a new pair of shoes.  We played with chalk outside and swung on the swing.  She passed out in the hallway about an hour before we were to pick Pumpkin up from school.


On Friday, Princess spent the day with great grandma and I completed a few volunteer hours as required by the school.  It was an enlightening experience and gave me some ideas that I can utilize when I return to work.

Today we visited the library and then went on our regular routine to the grocery store.  Princess wanted some Fancy Nancy books and I found a few Elephant and Piggie books for Pumpkin.  He was too busy playing with the train set to look for books today.  We even picked up a few Halloween and Christmas books too.

This week I have read the following books: 1) Daughter of Jerusalem by Joan Wolf.  It was really good and was a fictionalize journey of Mary of Magdalena that utilized facts from the Bible.  It really made me think about the miracle, awe, and uncertainty of the times when Jesus lived. I discovered Joan Wolf about a month ago and am impressed by her biblical fiction.  2) Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen Ed.D.  I only have three chapters left of the book.  It has some very interesting concepts and focuses on encouraging children not discouraging them.  I have applied a few of the concepts on the children and they do seem successful.  I have been reading this book for a while.  But once I decided to take notes restarting from the beginning, it has gone a lot smoother.  I have been reading one chapter a day during vacation.  3) A Reluctant Queen by Joan Wolf.  I just started this afternoon.  It is the fictional story of Esther based on the facts of the Bible.  It is definitely interested reading about the women of the Bible and getting a glimpse of what their lives may have been like.

Well things will start to get back to normal on Monday.  Pumpkin will be in school and hanging with great grandma before and after school.  Princess will start at her new daycare that has a preschool curriculum.  Daddy will be working and I will be working.  It has been nice to be on vacation and my batteries are recharged a touch.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Flying Over Alaska


I am betting that you took a double take at the title of this post.  No, I have never been to Alaska and at this current time I do not plan to get on an airplane again.  My feet were meant to stay close to the ground and I value my hearing too much to try another airborne adventure. 

This post is about a series of books that I have read by author that I recently discovered Bonnie Leon.  The Alaskan Sky Series is composed of three separate books: Touching The Clouds, Wings of Promise, and Joy Takes Flight.  I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this series.  The adventures that lie within the pages drew me into the stories.


Touching The Clouds is the first book of the series.  The main character is Kate Evans, a free spirited farm girl from Washington State.  The year is 1935 and Kate is looking for herself through an adventure of a lifetime.  She ditches her finance and her planned future that by all accounts is safe to head to Alaska to become a bush pilot.  Kate flies her Bellanca Pacemaker named Fearless Kate to Anchorage looking for work.  She finds friendship and adventure in the most unexpected places in a land where female pilots are a rarity and everyone has a secret to hide.  This book reminds me of the pioneering spirit of Amelia Earhart. 

Wings of Promise is the second book of the series.  This book picks up a few months after the first book left off and about 18 months after we first met Kate.  She is an established bush pilot loved and respected by many.  What I liked most about this particular book is that it addressed our fears in that when something bad or tragic happens we are too scared to continue, to live our lives without fear, and we run from the things we love.  It is hard to overcome personal tragedy and once Kate uncovers and faces her fears it provides a freedom like she has never known.  P.S.- Amelia Earhart and her around the world flight is mentioned in this book.

Joy Takes Flight is the last book of the series.  This last book picks up another few months down the road from the second book.  The year is 1938 and Kate is entering into uncharted waters trying to maintain her freedom of flying the open skies while balancing marriage and other aspects of wedded bliss.  How will her choices affect her and those she loves?  Adventures awaits around every corner in this last book of the series.  I was a bit disappointed at the open ending.  I guess I expected a bit more finality that what the author provided, but such is life. 

Overall, this is a great series.  There are so many juicy points and story hooks that I want to delve into, but I do not want to give anything away.  The secondary characters are just as vivid as the primary characters.  This is definitely an amazing journey that you will need to read yourself.