Saturday, July 5, 2014

A is for . . .



A is for Absorb.  Pumpkin absorbs information and uses it at the most interesting times.

A is for Actually.  Pumpkin loves to say "actually."

A is for ADHD.  Pumpkin has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder difference.

A is for Adventurous.  Pumpkin is adventurous and loves to climb trees.

A is for Allergy.  Pumpkin has an allergy to cats.


A is for Amazing.  Pumpkin is amazing at building and creating.

A is for Apples.  Pumpkin loves apples with peanut butter.

A is for Attention.  Pumpkin may not pay attention, but he is a very loving child.

A is for Atypical.  Pumpkin is atypical, he marches to the beat of his own drum.

A is for Autism Spectrum Disorder.  Pumpkin has autism spectrum disorder difference, the high functioning kind. 


Pumpkin is just Pumpkin.  He is our son.  He is a child just like every other child out there.  He is curious, full of love, and adventurous.  He just learns a little differently than the next.  I do not appreciate the audacity of those that think he does not fit into the ADHD or autism classifications because he does not fit into the neat little box of someone's ideals.  I do not appreciate being told that I am wasting my time and money trying to help my son.  Every child is different, no child fits within a particular mold whether they are a typical or a atypical child. Every child deserves the right to excel in all aspects of life.  It might be harder for some children than others, but every parent wants that for their child.  

Now that we have an official diagnosis, we will move forward.  We will learn ways to help Pumpkin excel.  We will learn ways to help us a family navigate through these new uncharted waters.  We will modify and adapt as we do with each twist and turn of life.


What I know as a mother about Pumpkin:

1) He takes things literally.  I once got flustered while overseeing homework and made the mistake of saying "I'm just going to jump off a bridge."  Pumpkin burst into tears and then I spent the next thirty minutes explaining that it was a saying and that I really would not jump off a bridge.  

2) He is impulsive and cannot always control what he does.  This is a hard one for us parents.  We go over the rules, we have him repeat the rules, we give consequences for breaking the rules and still he cannot conform.  He knows that he should not have done the action afterwards, but has not mastered the ability to control himself.  This is not due to a lack of discipline.  This is not due to the lack of parent attention.  Pumpkin learns different, thereby we must modify to teach him differently.  So if my son upsets a fellow child, I ask my son why he thinks the other child might be upset, then ask him how he might feel in that child's place.  It is not a lack of punishment, it is simply trying to teach my child empathy for his fellow peers.  He has to understand that his actions affect others to help him understand that the action was wrong.  He still gets in trouble and has a time out on my lap, but to change he has to understand and see why his actions were wrong. 

3) He does not fully understand social boundaries and etiquette.  He constantly gets in trouble at school and most are repetitive offenses.  He does not seem to grasp what is appropriate and it does not help that sometimes his peers egg him on.  Since he has trouble being the "perfect" child, occasionally his peers use him as the fall guy when mischief occurs.  I am sure that he does his fair share of the mischief, but there are times that I have chatted with him after school and the story he tells is quite different than the note that was sent home.  He has trouble keeping his hands to himself and he has trouble not saying "funny" inappropriate words (like bathroom words).  If a peer says "hi" or "bye", he is absolutely oblivious.  Instead of shaking hands at church, he likes to hide behind or under the church pew.  He prefers to avoid eye contact, especially with people that he does not know.


Parents of an atypical child see things a lot differently than others on the outside.  We do not try to make excuses for our children.  Every child in this world is unique and special.  Every child has a different way to learn and not every child is capable of conforming to a single style of learning.  Parents also do not want to overhear disheartening things about their child.   

A person would definitely need to walk a mile in our shoes to even begin to understand Pumpkin.  He looks like a normal child.  Sometimes he even acts like a normal child.  He has good days.  And he has bad days.  He is our Pumpkin and we love him. 

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